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Since they do not know what to do when that happens, they move back into the Parallel Relationship.

The good news for these couples is that in the latter years of their marriage, usually after the children are in college or remarried, there tends to be a period of rapprochement.

But eventually, for virtually all couples, the enchantment phase ends, the drugs wear off and are no longer secreted, the negative traits emerge with a greater impact, wounds and protections from childhood start being activated and the relationship moves into the "Power Struggle".There is a great emphasis on similarities and "sameness". One partner will say, "I don't believe in this "we are so alike" stuff. In this stage the couple is hopefully bonded and connected and appropriately committed.I value differences and believe differences should be acknowledged and respected! I tend to see this enchantment stage as a little be of grace in nature.The Enchantment Stages lasts on average 6-8 months.I have worked with couples where it lasted only a few weeks before the power struggle emerged and have known other couples where it lasted 2-3 years.

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Intimate, committed relationships will go through a period that requires work and healing.

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