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(5) Psalm 4:8 Catechism: Mary's function as mother of men...

They believe their marriage has taken care of all that. Our materials invite you to take deep breath, step back, and allow God to show you His love, mercy, promises and His vision for your life.

So, when divorce hits, these past issues and future hopes are also brought to the surface like raw nerves. One that is filled with great hope even within the pain, and rich in a love that never fails. 2 Cor 4:8-9 Catechism: The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself.

Thank God for this, because it should move you to change direction away from self and back to Love. Airline stewards always tell you that, in the event of an emergency, you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first, Why? After divorce we want to help you learn to let go of many things, slow down, take rest, get help, pray more, talk things out, solve problems, find solutions, create a new life, and learn to forgive. Skip a meal, forgo a new purchase, go without your favorite TV show and offer it up (united with Christ’s perfect sacrifice). Bible: This doesn't mean accepting unfairness; it means not letting it control you. Don’t blame; instead get smart, try to look past the surface to the real problem, and find a workable solution. And maybe ask God to help you grow up a little (or a lot). Prov Catechism: Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed . CCC 1431 Oh, how we all struggle with “needs” versus “wants”! Anticipate all your annual expenses, including birthdays, holidays, school, vacations, new tires, doctor and dentist visits, etc. Scripture tells us it would be wise to try to settle your issues before you get into the courtroom. Court battles can make you feel like you got sent straight to jail for having a failed marriage.

It is a maturity that takes responsibility for one's sins. These are invaluable life-lessons that you can pass along to your children . Bible: Read the story of Eli, a godly man, who was a loving but weak parent who failed to teach his sons respect for their father or for the Lord. Despite your feelings, try to see the other person as God does, and act in a way that is kind, generous, and mature. Still waiting for that child support check to come? Most people never learned to live on a budget, even within their marriage. “Prison” can be losing parental rights or getting stuck with paying crippling legal fees, or both.

And then something else happens: not only are you facing the reality of a failed marriage, but you are being forced to face the MUCH BIGGER reality of life itself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.

CCC 27 Doctors used to give a sucker to the child who sat still for her shots; even adults need a little “sugar” to help them get through the pain of divorce. Bible: If we are the Body of Christ, that means the people in your local church should be His arms, His legs, and His smile for you.

No role in marriage (spouse or parent) should ever be the center of your life; that place is reserved for God alone. Most people enter marriage with still-unhealed wounds from their past. It may seem that ALL of life’s golden opportunities have passed you by. And on top of that you are alone to face caring for your children and your aging parents.

But a new relationship, a spending blitz, or a half-gallon of Haagen Dazs will only hurt you more in the long run. Check to see if there is a “Catholic Divorce Survival Guide” program available in your area. Maybe later you can facilitate a group in your parish.

We offer healthy ideas to help you through this tough time: slowing down; getting lots of rest, unloading your overscheduled calendar for a while, taking walks, or listening to beautiful music. Only the spiritual Truth will bring you the deepest healing. Call your best friend or family member who has an open heart, a listening ear, and who’s walking closely with Our Lord.

Not to discount injustices and pain that you have suffered, but these are some unexpected treasures that can be yours! Mark -26 Catechism: (The heart’s) Conversion is accomplished in daily life by gestures of reconciliation . Taking up one’s cross each day and following Jesus is the surest way of penance. It makes the child feel safer when you tell the truth. • Always expect respect, but don’t intimidate or demand. • Encourage your child to join you in turning to God for help and comfort.

CCC 1435 Feelings of guilt can be like warning gauges on the car: they signal that something is wrong and we SHOULD pay attention to them. • Encourage the child to use his reason, not just his emotions. • Request an apology from them if they owe it to you or others in the family. • Never tolerant abusive attitudes, language, or behavior. Bible: Proverbs -24 Catechism: Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. • A naïve hope that time alone will make things better • Knowing what to do but being too proud, scared, cheap, or undisciplined to do it • Blaming, being unwilling or not knowing how to forgive • A doubt that God will bring justice in His own time • An emotional attachment (a “payoff”) to being a victim of divorce • Staying stuck in the role of protector of one of the parents These ways of thinking/acting need to be surrendered—along with one’s entire life—to a loving Lord.

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