Adultery dating man married
"So he came and he says to me 'You know, I see everything that you're writing.' I didn't deny it. I don't condone what I did; I'm not saying for anybody to go out and just do that, but I'm telling you that's my story."Which cleared the way for Kristie and her now-divorced boyfriend to no longer hide their secret. Dokoupil asked, "How did it feel saying those vows again?
"I mean, part of why families have been preserved is because women made the compromise more than men."In a series of massively popular TED Talks, a buzzed-about podcast, and her latest book ("The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity"), Perel is asking us to rethink our attitude about infidelity."To think about them just as a good person and a bad person does not help the millions of people who are experiencing it -- the children, the friends, the family, the lovers," she said.It would be like asking the Sahara to suddenly erupt in foliage.That's why so many older men wouldn't even think of cheating on their wives. Women swear up and down that looks are not nearly as important to them as they are to men, that a woman will not hesitate to marry an unattractive man if he has other compensatory qualities, such as a sense of humor or a highly developed intellect or a villa in Tuscany.They disingenuously identify themselves as hunters, as opposed to gatherers or certified public accountants or weenies, and thus deem themselves biologically incapable of remaining monogamous. You can build entire societies around mensches like this. Consider, if only for the sake of argument, the following explanations for why some men are faithful to their wives: Men like to plop down on the couch and watch sports and drink beer.Once they have manufactured this self-serving, pseudo-scientific rationalization, additional justifications for infidelity are easy to devise. These men are willing to work to make a marriage succeed. Following this logic, men who don't cheat are first-class human beings. Romance, by contrast, is labor-intensive; you have to shower, shave, slap on some deodorant, put on something other than sweatpants, buy flowers, go to the movies, read a book every once in a while, think of compliments, engage in conversation.