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" - "All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you f--ked! " - "Lower your voice." - "Wait a minute, what is that anyway? The problem with dicks is that sometimes, they f--k too much, or f--k when it isn't appropriate... But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. But the only thing that can f--k an asshole is a dick, with some balls. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you wanna bail out. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! " - "Apes don't read philosophy." - "Yes they do, Otto.
One day he tells me it's my fault he saw other women. And one of us will click the shutter." Calendar Girls (2003)- "I'm kinda psychic. That's amazing." - "Well, they can tell when it's raining." Mean Girls (2004)- "Ooh! " Team America: World Police (2004) "Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call 'dating.' I don’t like the feeling. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. It's breathtaking - I suggest you try it." Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) "I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. You know, when you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention. And and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry. The center has to be at least three times bigger than this." Zoolander (2001)"Of course, we're not gonna go round (naked) paradin' ourselves in a room full of men! Do I have to wait for the door 'cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out 'cause you’re tryin' not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? I must've hit a pothole." - "You don't seem too upset by what's happened." - "Of course I am. Who knows if I'll ever cum again." - "I would like to take a closer look at your bowls." - "My what? I would like to take a closer look - at your big brass bowls." - "Okay, yeah." (unzips pants) - "Thank you. When the middle one got in the way, God performed surgery. I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. Uh, you know, I'm just a, just a big hairy American winnin' machine. Yeah, I did a little jail time, but it was worth it." Living Out Loud (1998)"And I-I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested…And when am I supposed to kiss her? Beautiful.""When God created woman, He gave her not two breasts but three. That phrase is trademarked not to be used without permission of Ricky Bobby, Inc." Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)- "Where do babies come from? " - "Well, I think a stork he drops it down, and then a hole goes in your body, and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head, and then you push your belly button, and then your butt falls off, and then you hold your butt and you have to dig, and you find a little baby." - "That's exactly right."- "She had the biggest tits I've ever seen, I think." - "Yeah, I heard she got breast reduction surgery." - "What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift." Superbad (2007)- "Everybody knows you never go full retard." - "What do you mean? Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man', look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. The one with no make-up and baggy clothes who loves 'the perfect bite'. Or even physical attraction because she wasn't uh, uh although l-I thought she was quite beautiful. The way she held herself, the way she made fun of herself. " - "If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis." Billy Madison (1995) Play clip (excerpt): - "I love the old Rose. lt's not based on passion, although l feel that, or, or lust, although l feel that.