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It’s right to acknowledge that there is far more to marriage than sex, and that other factors (such as mutual respect, commitment, companionship, a shared sense of calling, faith in Christ) are indispensable criteria for a couple trying to discern whether they should marry or not. Any couple considering marriage should be really sure that they are sexually attracted to one another – whether either of them experience same-sex attraction or not.

It’s one of many things which you will need to discuss and pray through together.

My wife had been friends for about three years before we started courting.

That helped, because when we started going out, our relationship then underwent a fundamental change.

Just as a couple will have lots of conversations and spend time together to see if they are compatible, it would seem sensible and healthy to explore appropriate physical affection such as hugging and kissing, within Christian boundaries.

(I appreciate that people will have different views about where to draw the line.) We shouldn’t let the biblical prohibition of premarital sex create a hang up which prevents couples from seeing whether there is a sexual spark and growing desire to make love and become ‘one flesh’ – whilst being careful not to get too steamy before marriage! Don’t feel pressure to rush into marriage until you know you are ready for it. Make sure that your dating, courtship, and engagement are long enough to be sure that your sexual attraction is genuine and deep, and not some kind of blip.

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