Dating a codependent man
But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture.We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities.If this goes on long enough, both partners eventually spend most of their energy trying to prove that they’re less culpable than the other, rather than solving the current problem.People spend all of their time trying to be less wrong for each other instead of being more right for each other.One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them.One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times.But the fact that she embarrassed you in 2010 and now she got sad and ignored you today in 2013 have nothing to do with each other, so don’t bring it up.You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors.
If someone habitually cheats, then that’s obviously a recurring problem.Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear. What It Is: The “keeping score” phenomenon is when someone you’re dating continues to blame you for past mistakes you made in the relationship.If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call “the relationship scorecard,” where it becomes a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years, and therefore who owes the other one more.And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support.If they love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.
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What It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole.