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The good news is that unless your spouse will have no communication with you, the reconnect is under your control.

The way that you communicate will either automatically create a connection or automatically push your partner further from you.

Many people choose to get coaching at this point to be confident that their messages are helping, rather than harming, their chances to reconcile with their spouse.

Many people try to reconnect with their spouses by being apologetic, overly generous, or even by using reasoning.

When you only have minimal contact with your spouse, each word can be important.

A really nice message can backfire if it contains just one needy word.

your spouse to come back or work on saving your marriage need to be set aside for a bit.

People do not want to be in marriages simply because of obligation.

They don’t do it by explaining to the other person why they should be attracted to them.

They do and say things which naturally create the attraction.

They attempt to apologize for having made mistakes and then to try to convince their spouse that his or her leaving was a mistake.

It is an unattractive message: “Yes, I made many mistakes, but you should come back to me because I have changed now.” Such messages result in loss of respect rather than attraction, for a few reasons: No one who feels like they have been a victim of a bad marriage is going to want to return just because their spouse needs them or claims to have changed.

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