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When Missi got fed up—Why did I get out of a crappy marriage just to be in this crappy relationship?

—some new tragedy would happen (his mother died; he was in a motorcycle accident), and she’d be roped back in.

Among all the duds—the desperate and depressed and not-quite-divorced—a 45-year-old man named Richie Peterson stood out.

He was a career naval officer, an Afghanistan veteran who was finishing his doctorate in political science at the University of Minnesota.

Richie liked to say he didn’t “do drama,” but drama seemed to follow him nonetheless.

A few days later, when he was supposed to pick her up for their first date, Richie was nowhere to be found, and he wasn’t responding to her texts, either.The offer wasn’t all that appealing to Missi—“I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom again,” she says—but she took it as a sign that things were getting serious.The longer they kept dating, though, the more problems cropped up.Missi Brandt had emerged from a rough few years with a new sense of solidity.At 45, she was three years sober and on the leeward side of a stormy divorce.

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