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It's enough for them to understand what will change in their daily routine — and, just as important, what will not. You might say something like: "Mom and dad are going to live in different houses so they don't fight so much, but we both love you very much." Older kids and teens may be more in tune with what parents have been going through, and might have more questions based on what they've overheard and picked up on from conversations and fights.
Tell kids who are upset about the news that you recognize and care about their feelings, and reassure them that all of their upset feelings are perfectly OK and understandable.
But telling them what they need to know at that moment is always the right thing to do.
Many kids — and parents — grieve the loss of the kind of family they had hoped for, and kids especially miss the presence of both parents and the family life they had.
" or "We both love you and are sorry that we have to live apart." Not all kids react right away.
But kids also can come out of it better able to cope with stress, and many become more flexible, tolerant young adults.
As soon as you're certain of your plans, talk to your kids about your decision to live apart.
Although there's no easy way to break the news, if possible have both parents there for this conversation.
Most kids will feel they're to blame even after parents have said that they're not.
So it's vital for parents to keep giving this reassurance.