Do guys find me intimidating

Some friends have gone as far as to tell me that I’m the smartest / most capable person they’ve ever met, which I think is the biggest compliment anyone can ever receive.

I’ve constantly been described as “smart”, “intelligent”, “courageous”, “driven”, “powerful”, “strong”, “highly developed”, “capable”, “intellectual”, “career-driven”, and at times, “fearless”.

For a long time, my biggest struggle was that by being so “strong”, “powerful”, and what have you, I would be unfeminine.

For while I’m driven, passionate about achieving success and mildly accomplished in my own right, these factors are considered masculine, “yang” (as in yin-yang) qualities, and are not necessarily things that men look for when considering a romantic prospect. This is especially the case in Asia, where males prefer to have female partners who are more easy-going and less opinionated.

these guys aren’t right for me, be it as a friend or as a romantic prospect. I never try to change others because I believe it’s not our place to tell others how they should behave. I put my heart forward in whatever I do and I treat people with full earnestness and respect.

Believe it or not, even though I was trying my utmost ability to intimidate guys, I would still wind up intimidating them anyway, through no direct action of my own. (I later found out from a common friend that he is highly averse to strong female characters, which would include me.) I thought one reason for the unwitting intimidation could be my height, which is 1.7m—taller than the average Asian girl. I was chatting with my god-sister, Rita, while I was in Hong Kong, and she said something that made me see the situation in a different light.

Another reason could be my talking speed, which is faster than the average person. I had always thought that the solution to my guy-intimidation problems was to shirk my character, dumb myself down, and/or work on my appeal as a woman…

Work-wise, I beat hundreds if not thousands to secure a place in a top multinational corporation (Procter & Gamble) two years before I was supposed to graduate.

Later on, I quit my well-paying job in P&G right at the start of a financial crisis no less, to pursue my passion to help others—with no prior skills or knowledge in this area.

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