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The point is that you have something to focus on other than the date.
This gives you both a chance to breathe and be yourselves.
According to dating coach Julie Spira, the thing you need to know about a good first date is that it's totally OK if it doesn't lead to a second date.
"While it can be disappointing if a first date doesn’t turn into a second one, especially if your mind wandered to thinking they could be 'The One,' having a first date, regardless of the outcome, is both an ego and a confidence booster," Spira tells Bustle.
"It’s very important to go on fun dates, even if they don’t develop into a full-on relationship," Spira says.
"[Instead of] wondering if you’re auditioning to be [partner] material, you should just go and have fun and bring the best and happiest version of you to the table"If your date turns out to be a dud, it can put a real damper on your mood. Anything they say or do that could be offensive or hurtful has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them." If you have a hard time having fun on first dates, it might be because you're limiting your dates to things that resemble interviews: asking each other question after question over dinner or drinks, instead of doing something more personal and unique."Don't get trapped in the job interview date (coffee shop, bar, restaurant)," Eric Resnick, owner and lead dating coach at Profile Helper.com, tells Bustle. These dates are rarely fun and they never give you a real sense of the other person."Have a hard time getting conversation flowing on first dates?
"If you worry that you talk too much on dates, practice periods of silence. "Take comfort in the idea that If you are uncomfortable, you are growing," Carpenter says.
If you have a hard time making decisions, take responsibility for planning the date. It will keep you from getting overwhelmed and you will really be able to hone in on that one goal."Even if things don't work out in the long-term, you can still make fun, lasting memories on first dates — especially if you use them as an excuse to do something new that you might not otherwise try out. "The more you grow, the better a dater you will be.
After I spotted David's profile on the site, I decided to get in contact.
The attraction was mutual: David said he was instantly drawn to my "striking" eyes!
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"It reminds you that it’s fine to go out and have fun with someone interesting, rather than staying home staring at your phone, wondering why someone hasn’t texted you back."Of course, it goes without saying that it's awesome when a great first date leads to a second date, but you shouldn't put too much pressure on first dates.