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Ah, sex in Japan, always a hot topic in online forums.If you’re a man, and you post: I’m having lots of sex in Japan!That comes way later, when you *both* are ready to get physical.I know you want a boyfriend now, but if you ask anyone who has dated for a while, you have to shoot the rapids before you get to where you want to be.I don’t see the big deal but for all these guys I meet they see it as a red flag and run the other way. Should I lie about my inexperience or just try to dodge the topic? — The Ultimate Virgin JAREK: I’ll be honest, 20 isn’t really all that late to be jumping in the game.

I am 27 and getting married in less than three months; I can count the number of girls/women I’ve called “girlfriend” on two hands, with some fingers left over to flip them all off. You can also tell the truth without being starkly clear that you’ve never done any of it before. I wonder if perhaps you feel the urge to mention it without prompting, and, if so, tame that feeling.

then someone will reply: You’re such a loser, since there are so many hoes. I don’t pretend to have discovered the Unified Field Theory of Japanese sexuality, but I’ll give you four factors that I think are contributing. “I have it easy,” he said, “since I work at an international company. “But Sunday’s when you come here to study English,” I pointed out. For most people, it comes down to two choices: work like mad as a single person and have a tiny apartment full of dirty clothes and half-eaten Cup Ramen containers, or get married.

People in Japan, and Tokyo in particular, work a ridiculous amount, in a way that’s hard to comprehend if you live in, say, sunny California. Japanese places are a lot worse.” “Do you ever see your wife? That way, the man goes off to work, and when he comes home after midnight, his dinner is sitting on the table covered in Saran Wrap, and there’s hot water in the tub. Shopping, ironing, cleaning, paying the bills, everything’s taken care of for him. The woman gets to do all the fun, fulfilling things like taking care of baby, grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking meals.

Okay, so the internet’s never been famous for politeness. A more typical case is probably my former student Masahiro, who’s an executive at a famous beverage manufacturer. until to midnight, six days a week, with a 15-minute lunch break at his desk.

On the other hand, if you post: Japan sucks and I’m not having any sex. This rather banal discussion recently took a turn for the interesting, however, after the Japan Family Planning Association reported that 45% of young Japanese women, and over 25% of men, “were not interested in or despised sexual contact.” followed this with a piece entitled Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex? After living in Japan for a few years, this actually makes sense to me. I’m just some dude in Japan who tries to find a clean pair of socks so he can put one on and run to the station to cram onto the train with ten thousand of the unhappiest Japanese people you’ve ever seen. He has Sunday off, which is when he studies English.

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