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Photo: Instagram If you haven't heard of Tinder, then congratulations: You are probably in a loving, monogamous relationship. And the best part about Tinder is you can people-watch without even putting a bra on. For every guy with a nice smile holding a shelter puppy is a dude in a fedora popping bottles at the local T. The "Only Here For Sex" Dude will make things pretttttty clear in his bio, usually by telling you what he's only there for.(SWIPE LEFT) But those of you single and ready to swingle are probably well-versed in the dating app taking the world by storm. But, because of its ease of use and likelihood of being able to "get it in" on a bi-monthly basis, Tinder attracts all kinds. The more confident of this species may even list size if he is so inclined. I’m throwing a house party…the only person invited is you Call the cops…See Who Comes first.55. 2 hours into our first date he went over his funeral desires with me, told me how much his life insurance policy was for and showed me the mock-up of the monument/statue of himself he wanted to be constructed and put into a public location for his memorial. ” Do I know you from somewhere, because I don’t recognise you with your clothes on? Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been running through my mind all day.54. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on! He “gently suggested” his dead wife’s clothes might fit me. I was about 5 weeks into seeing a really sweet guy who had a decent job, nice car, great family, when he just frankly tells me one evening, “Yeah, so the girl I got pregnant won’t leave me alone.”59.When we say that something is creepy, we simply mean that such a thing has the ability to make one nervous or frightened and can cause goose pimples on one’s skin. The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement11. Help, something is wrong with my eyes – I just can’t take them off you.13. OOOOOh, baby, u must have wished upon a star cause today is your lucky day! Do you like rainbows, cus you can taste my rainbow any time.19. There’s a way one can use sexually inappropriate words and it becomes creepy. There are certain things you can’t just afford to say aloud because of their creepy nature. I’m a necrophiliac, so why don’t you drop dead and I’ll think about it! It can be fun to be creepy sometimes, for instance when you say to someone “do have a good night !

It’s hard for me to concentrate on you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my bone25. hey let’s go have sex with monkeys and rape their corpses.39. I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.42. The concept is simple: Sign in using your Facebook account, pick your best photos (most of mine originated from the Hubble Space Telescope for prime thinness), and begin swiping people you want to date to the right, and people who must really REALLY have some serious issues happening if your desperate ass doesn't want to date them, to the left. (Only here in LA, for example, most people are swiping for dates when they SHOULD be rehearsing lines for their upcoming CSI: Miami audition as Cadaver 1.) Sounds simple enough, right? For this guy, there is no physical detail or fetish too personal to lay on the line on Tinder. Look, if he took *IT* *OUT* I suggest swiping left for sanitary purposes alone.Once you and your future co-star in The Notebook 2 mutually like each other, good news! But if he seems non-murdery and, you know, maybe foreign, crack open a Stella and get your groove back.

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