Post divorce dating pitfalls
It is not their responsibility to take care of you.You should have activities, roles and responsibilities outside of parenting, so that you feel fulfilled and are able to enjoy your time when your children are with your co-parent. Thinking it is your time rather than your child's time: Now that you are a two-household family system, you may feel that your time with your child is limited and that when you do have time, you want to spend it with them.Plus, your co-parent will likely figure out that a later bedtime is not a great idea when the kids refuse to wake up the next morning and eventually do so in an irritable state. Expecting your co-parent to change: If this were going to happen, it would have happened already and you and your co-parent would probably still be married. Realize that you are the last person your ex is going to listen to.It will be more productive to figure out how to co-parent within the confines of the idiosyncrasies of your co-parent. Pathologizing issues that are related to normal child development: Children grow, change, and react in typical social-emotional ways.With over 15 years as a therapist, she is also a certified divorce mediator and helps assist clients in resolving conflicts as part of the collaborative divorce process.She is a member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois and the founder of Janus Behavioral Services, LLC.You cannot control every little thing that happens during your co-parent's time.Rest easy that children are resilient and can manage differences in parenting style. Do not provide advice or suggestions, unless you are directly asked.
You do not want your children to worry about you while they are with their other parent or to feel guilty for leaving you.Your co-parenting relationship is the number one factor that will influence how your children are impacted by this change.Your children deserve to have a healthy relationship with both parents, so let's take a look at ten common co-parenting pitfalls and how you can manage them. Not communicating: This can be a particular challenge after a contentious divorce when you are accustomed to communicating through attorneys, yet, to parent, communicate you must.It is normal for a child to feel anxious in response to a transition or change. Teenagers argue with their parents and would rather spend time with their peers.Before blaming your co-parent for these issues and questioning what your co-parent is doing "wrong," think first if any issues can be attributed to normal development and if so, discuss with your co-parent how to manage the issues. Ignoring the family, and even the new significant other, of your co-parent: You are both still your child's family and that family includes your co-parent's parents, siblings, and yes, significant other.