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To the surprise of no one who has ever given sex advice for a living, the sex didn't get better after IMDONE and her boyfriend got married."Here's something I've never seen in my inbox: a letter from someone explaining how sex with their partner was infrequent, impersonal, uninspired, unimaginative, etc.When I met my wife, our sex life was okay—but I was never fully present, because I would have to concentrate on my fantasies in order to sustain an erection. My wife knew I was masturbating in the middle of the night instead of having sex with her, and that led to some enormous fights.So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication.If you had known us 25 years ago, Dan, you would not have given us good odds.

Children ask a lot of questions, and some are challenging to answer quickly or succinctly.

We'd been dating only a year and a half when we got engaged, and we'd known each other less than two years.

I was a virgin, my wife was not, together we hadn't gotten much past second base, and neither of us had laid our kink cards on the table.

at first but—holy moly—the sex got a fuck of a lot better after the wedding," I wrote in my response to IMDONE.

I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.