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He began with criticism, went on to name-calling and moved on to physical violence and (probably) murder. “The Loser,” Carver notes, “has very shallow emotions and connections with others.
It’s very important to get away from a Loser at the slightest hint of violence, including verbal aggression, since abuse usually increases in frequency and severity over time. One of the things that might attract you to the Loser is how quickly he or she says ‘I Love You’ or wants to marry or commit to you.
Stacy’s growing insecurity also placed her under Drew’s power to determine how she felt about herself. That’s precisely what psychopaths do to their targets.
Losers isolate their partners from their friends, colleagues and families.
His assertion that he pampered Stacy by indulging her obsession with plastic surgery rings false.
By way of contrast, her friends’ and family’s claim that he criticized her to the point that she felt compelled to make constant “improvements” in her physical appearance sounds much more plausible. In the wild, predators isolate their prey from the rest of the herd to better attack and devour it.
It’s interspersed with increasingly fewer “nice” moments, which trap the victim in her own wishful thinking.
As Carver observes, “You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one.
But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.Carver states that, for instance, Losers “constantly correct your slight mistakes, making you feel ‘on guard’, unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong…This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly–as though you deserved it.” According to Tracy’s and Stacy’s families and friends, after seducing them, Drew undermined both women’s self-confidence.Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous.The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship.