Sharing just enough to keep a person interested, but not sharing our full selves, can keep people around for the next round.This is a phrase our generation seems to be known for – because we want to be selfish, we tell each other we don’t want anything substantial.Millennial dating seems to be about not showing your hand.It can take us a while for us to even be up front about what we’re looking for, let alone the kind of person we are. Sometimes we don’t want to get hurt; sometimes we just don’t necessarily want to be known.According to Neil Strauss, best-selling author of The Game, negging is the number-one most effective pick-up tactic. Young women almost expect to be insulted by a prospective suitor and respond accordingly, feigning frustration and then peacocking around for the rest of a night in an attempt to win his attention.The growing popularity of this transparent mind-gaming is often blamed on men.
This is, essentially, asking someone to settle for selfishness.One player wants more – as it always happens – and the other wants exactly what they’re currently getting.What was supposed to be “fun” ends up just being frustrating, because one person caught feelings while the other had already decided from the beginning that they’d just throw them away.It is a vicious cycle: women bash men, men insult women, women bash men. Kanye West and John Legend, “Selfish” Dating is ridiculously weird these days. This used to really confuse me, the way things worked out – or the way they didn’t – and I eventually just gave up on figuring it out.